Archive for the Self-Improvement Category

Why “Just Being Yourself” Isn’t the Best Dating Advice

“Going out on a date? Don’t worry. Just be yourself!”
Many of us have heard and may have even gave this piece of advice a billion times. Truth be told, nobody would honestly want to fake themselves around their partner. Everybody desires to be accepted for exactly who they are and that’s what makes this an appealing advice.

A Closer Look
But what does “being yourself” actually mean? In most cases, it appears to be a passive suggestion taken literally. It simply means do nothing new, just show off the same, current you. Unfortunately, this is where the tricky part lies in, and the most comforting advice you have been getting all these years may not be enough and best tip in the dating world.
To just be yourself can be interpreted as continuing your habits, ways of thinking and specifically, your approach to dating irrespective of how unhealthy they may be. If you are still out in the market and what you have been doing has not made you earn the good catch then it’s best to dig deeper into its context. While you may have taken into account the great qualities you possess which make you worth dating for, you also cannot discount the ones that give you poor dating results. Common problems are lack of confidence, emotional expression or playfulness.
Change Isn’t Easy
When people are advised to do something new, such as “Express your thoughts/emotions often,” they become reluctant and say, “That is not me.” But these are just simply habits they have been unconsciously accustomed to and now attached to their identity. Being shy doesn’t mean you are unable to express what you feel and think—there are hundreds of ways to show it. Rather than spending your time seeking a relationship that permits you to be entirely you, find one that helps you be the best/ideal version of yourself. Fortunately, science backs this up.
A psychological study published in Sage Journals, tackled “Relational Authenticity” which is about the feelings of genuineness in a particular relationship. Participants were tasked to respond to various surveys as to where relational authenticity is rooted from. The activity tested whether its basis comes from one’s “true self’, ‘ideal self’ or both.

Being a Better You
Results show that those who acted in their ‘ideal selves’ experienced more authenticity in their relationships than those who were urged to be their ‘true selves.” In a nutshell, the study revealed a great point: the findings urge us to create more progress towards the fulfillment of our ideal selves (i.e. to be more expressive and confident) especially when our partner has the same trait or when we want to meet one. And that creates better feelings of authenticity in the relationship.
Being yourself is an improving process where you don’t keep doing what seems to come off natural. It doesn’t mean you change your contents but it is bringing out the inner and most attractive parts of you by changing how it’s presented.

Celebrate who you are and what inspires you to be better. Even students in Anchor Green Primary School celebrate “Be Yourself Day”, “Aspire, Grow, and Serve.” In the same way, you can translate that one piece of advice into bringing out the best version of you for the world to see.

Work Hard, Live Harder

5 Habits to Practise for Better Life and Work Balance
These days, balancing work and personal life seems like an impossible feat. Technology made workers accessible for work around the clock, and the fear of job loss often causes employees to work longer hours. Sure, being this dedicated to your work helps you earn more and secure your job position. However, what many of us seem to forget is that having a never-ending workday can be detrimental to the health, personal relationships, and even to the overall happiness. Luckily, it’s never too late for us to change. Learn to practise the following habits, and you’ll soon get the work-life balance you want.

Work Life Balance signpost

  1. Let Go of Your Fears. One of the best ways to develop a healthy work-life balance is to let go of your fears. Stop thinking about how your company might fail or how your pending tasks pile up when you aren’t working. Once you’ve done a day’s work, let it go, take a good rest, and get back on them tomorrow. No one will blame you if you have some unchecked items on your to-do list.
  1. Schedule Your Personal Activities. Failed to attend your niece’s baptism? Passed on to your best friend’s birthday celebration? You may not notice it, but you’re probably sacrificing your personal activities for your work. A good way to prevent this from happening? Schedule and write out all your important personal activities in your desk calendar. That way, you’ll be able to schedule your leave a few days prior to that particular event. Remember, your personal activities are as important as any of your meetings.
  1. Set Work Boundaries. If your colleagues or customers think that it’s alright to call you in the middle of the night if they need something, then they’ll likely call you. Avoid this by setting firm boundaries about the time when you are and aren’t available for them. By doing this, you’ll be able to fully relax off work.


  1. Unplug From Technology. With the presence of smartphones and increasing demand on workers, it’s safe to say that we are living in an ‘always on’ culture. However, you have the power over your devices and you can take a technology break whenever you want. A good way to start this is by intentionally turning off your phone and leaving them in your safety drawer. This will greatly help you relax during your off-days and spend some quality time with your family or friends.
  1. Learn to Manage Your Energy. Instead of scheduling your tasks every minute of your time, schedule them according to your energy. Perform your extra tasks when you’re in a lull, and your important tasks when you’re energized.

Achieving a good work-life balance is quite difficult these days, but by learning to prioritize your personal and work-related activities, you’ll surely be able to achieve the balance that you want.

managing bills

5 Easy Ways to Fight Anxiety  

Technically, anxiety is a physical, mental, and emotional response to perceived dangers, which are not usually real. And since we don’t get chased by tigers or get lost in the woods on a daily basis, it’s often the small things that put our emotions over the edge, such as misplaced car keys, morning rush hour, or flooded email. Luckily, it’s easy to fight this kind of stress with a few changes incorporated in our day-to-day life.


  1. Get Enough Sleep

Not getting enough sleep doesn’t only affect our health, but also greatly contribute to overall anxiety and stress. Especially when feeling anxious, make sure to schedule a complete eight to nine hours of sleep and see how a sweet slumber can alter your anxiety level throughout the day.

  1. Express Gratitude

Studies suggest that expressing gratitude helps relieve mental and emotional tension. You may want to start a gratitude journal to get you into the mindset of appreciation rather than overwhelmed.

  1. Pause and Breathe

Whenever you feel like a panic attack is about to happen, take time to pause for a while and breathe. Conscious breathing, plus lengthening the breath, sends signals to the brain that everything is fine and that there’s nothing to worry about.2015-01-20-GeneralisedAnxietyDisorder1080pwallpaperdesktop

  1. Have Some Alone Time

Plan for a time when you can just be by yourself. Even if it is just a five-minute break, with no phone call, no TV, no emails, it can already give you that inner peace to keep you sensible for the remaining hours of the day. Too much noise can increase stress levels, so plan some alone time in the midst of all the chaos of your daily life.

  1. Visualize Positivity

When dealing with anxious thoughts, learn to visualize yourself handing the situation in a calm and easy manner. Do not pay attention to your current state of mind; just concentrate on sailing smoothly through the storm.

If we get a chance to choose, we would never want to create thoughts stresses or worries us. However, we’re just human, and it’s inevitable for us to worry sometimes. So when we feel like we’re starting to freak out, there a few simple things we can do to alter our thoughts, relax our body, calm our brain, and get back on track.